Alixe Kent

Olympic Skating

2010-02-26T13:42:00.000-08:00

I have been following the winter olympics in Vancouver more than any in the last 20 years. It's been very absorbing, and I have thought of Alixe often when watching the figure skating. She loved to watch the skating, and was a fair skater herself, being able to do the backwards stuff and swerve and fly across the ice.

7 or 8 months have passed, and she has come up in our thoughts a lot in the last 10 days or so. Still missing her. Her family is doing well, and we spent Christmas and New Year together in LA, so we are as close as ever.

A marker

2009-10-18T01:39:00.000-07:00

A moving moment for us- Crispin has made a fantastic wooden marker for Alixe's resting place, and he, Nicki and Philip put it in the ground this weekend, with John and Yvonne.

70th Party

2009-07-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

At her 70th birthday gathering, which was also her non-retirement party, she was still rather self-conscious of the camera, but less able to hide. Ha!

Camera Shy

2009-07-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

As ever Alixe tried to avoid my lens, and here I am trying to get her at her gluten-free breakfast on a trip to Catalina Island.

A Good Match

2009-07-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Alixe came into our lives as our extended family as Jon’s daughter Nicola married Crispin. We spent many happy times together, including Christmas and other special days. There was this lovely rivalry going on about tennis. Alixe was a member of Jersey Lane Tennis Club and I (Yvonne) was a member of Townsend Lawn Tennis Club. Nicola was very keen to see a match between Alixe and myself but we never seemed to get around to arranging this. Alixe always told me she hit the ball hard so perhaps I was a little bit nervous!!! However, last Christmas Nicola announced that we were finally going to have our match – on Wii. Neither of us had ever played on Wii before but we were both up for it! It was a good match and the result …….shall remain a secret! I am sure Alixe is still hitting the ball hard!
As you will see from the photo, like me (Jon), Alixe was a keen cyclist and enjoyed taking part in the carnival on her bike. I captured this photo as she passed me by. Alixe and I had many conversations and her dry sense of humour and my sharp cutting comments played together very well in most situations! Certainly the BBQ invitation is something I will always look back on with amusement!
Alixe did a lot to brighten all our lives and will be sadly missed.
Yvonne and Jon Raxworthy

Thank you Alixe

2009-07-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

I never had the chance to say thank you to Alixe

Thank you Alixe for the patience that you had with me
Thank you Alixe for the time you always had for me
Thank you Alixe for the battles that you fought with me
Thank you Alixe for the friend you always were to me

Thank you Alixe for the playtime that you had with me
Thank you Alixe for the artist you brought out in me
Thank you Alixe for the confidence you gave to me

Thank you Alixe for the person I became to be

And Alixe? Thank for keeping my pictures on your wall
I'm not a snake in a tank anymore xx

Love Always
Samantha
xxx

So, you’re not at the allotment then? (From Crispin’s wife Nicki)

2009-07-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

When Alixe used to phone us at weekends the conversation would always start, “So, you’re not at the allotment then?” It was of course a rhetorical question and meant in an “oh, I’m glad you’re there” kind of a way, but there was always something in the way she delivered the statement that made me feel obliged to offer some sort of excuse or explanation, such as, “We’ve been there all morning and have only just come back for a late lunch”, or “Crispin’s there now and I was just on my way to join him”, etc. Actually, despite being unable to shake this guilty reaction of mine, I know she was proud of our achievements and was always very interested to follow the seasons of the year through the activities at the allotment. I was also glad that she was such an enthusiastic recipient of the various fruits (and vegetables) of our labours - even when we would try to offload an abundance of courgettes before they inevitably grew into marrows if left unpicked overnight.

Others have mentioned Alixe’s energy and I also had much admiration for her continued desire to make her own marmalade and apricot jam having first haggled with the local market traders and then cycled home with trays of fresh produce strapped precariously to the back of her bicycle. Seeing Alixe cycling fast and furious, head down against the elements, with her cycle helmet and high-visibility safety harness & trouser clips is a sight I will miss.

Having presumably been an initial source of inspiration for Crispin’s culinary inclination, Alixe was always suitably animated and delighted by Crispin’s considerable talent for conjuring up gluten-free and lactose-free gastronomic feasts that catered for her in a way that she always seemed to relish. Afterwards, once she was comfortably settled into an armchair in our living room, a footstool would be attentively produced and a blanket casually slipped across her lap as she ‘purred’ gently, drifting in and out of the conversations that continued on around her (despite her protestations that she wasn’t really asleep, or snoring contentedly!) . Indulgent meals and lazy afternoons were indeed happy times, which I’m glad we made the most of.

To Alixe’s eventual amusement our smallholding inclinations diversified last year and we re-homed three ex battery hens. These virtually featherless (and somewhat oven-ready) birds initially had few redeeming features except our hope for fresh eggs at some point in the future. However, despite being initially quite reticent about what we had undertaken, Alixe soon warmed to our ‘girls’ (Pinky, Porky and Fluffy) and their eccentricities to the point where when she would come round for a visit, she would quickly say hello to us, before rushing out to see the ‘girls’ in the garden. Once outside she would invariably produce a lettuce or some other food she had just brought round as a treat for them and then crow approvingly at how well they looked and how well we were looking after them .

I will miss hearing her infectious laugh and still can’t believe that she is no longer here.

There are many happy memories to cherish and thankfully no typical Mother-in-Law jokes to tell.

From Alex Beckwith

2009-07-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

To the family of Alixe Kent,

My name is Alex Beckwith and Alixe was my supervisor when I was a Trainee Clinical Psychologist in Hillingdon Hospital (October 2004 - April 2005).

One of my many memories of being with Alixe was her immense enthusiasm for travelling. As a keen traveller myself we would spend many hours chatting about different countries and exciting destinations. During my placement I went to South Africa and I can remember her excitement when I returned to see my pictures! Her excitement only increasing after I qualified when I travelled around the world for 5 months and upon my return she was keen to meet up and hear about the trip!!

Alixe and I stayed in touch after I qualified and I was lucky enough to get a job in Hillingdon and when I went over to the hospital I would try and find her to catch up on her news!

Last month I emigrated to Australia and I was lucky enough to have e-mail contact with her to let he know that I had moved.

I am still extremely upset to hear of Alixe's death. It is such a tragic loss and I would like to pass on my sincere condolences to her sons and family.

She really was one in a million!

My thoughts are with her family at this time
Yours sincerely
Alex

Speeches

2009-07-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

I am Rolfe Kent, Alixe’s middle son. My brothers Philip and Crispin are here, and we are so happy to see so you all here, and we are so pleased so many people from her work at Hillingdon could make it. She touched and cared for many people, and many cared for her. I shall speak a little about her family life, and then we have two more speakers to talk of her work and her friends.

Alixe was our devoted mother, a constant source of interesting ideas, a great listener, a thorn in the side, a constant stream of love in that very English way which seldom says it, but you can’t imagine living without. She was lovely. She was motivating. She was inspiring.

Alixe was also spectacularly untidy, which started when I was 15 and she became a student, taking her zoology A level to prove she could still learn, so she could apply to university to do Psychology. The moment she went back to school she became wonderfully and bizarrely untidy and disorganised. When Verona her sercetary first met her she simply said “I need organizing”, which was still very true.
Being invited to a barbeque at Alixes, we’d arrive to find not only had nothing been prepared, but we were to be directed... “Oh, there’s a new barbeque in that box” and there’d be a mass of metal pieces and screws and bolts needing assembly. As regards food... “look in the freezer, I have some sausages and... no, look under that... perhaps at the bottom...and there should be some steaks too...” It’d all be under way in an hour or so, and was typical of the casual and ad hoc way Alixe lived.

She had a gentle but powerful charisma; no one could tiptoe stealthily through a room as conspicuously as she. Her silent disapproval was something you could feel across a room. She loved us boys; never looked more content than when we were all around her. So we were around her regularly, and calling often to share what was going on, and hear her point of view.

She was a natural sportswoman, and after she lost her eye a few years ago we couldn’t imagine her running at half speed, and it turns out neither could she. She immediately won a golf competition, and bought a bigger headed tennis racquet so her swing would still find the ball.

Also after that accident I prized out of her a substantial list of travel ambitions, none of which we’d had any clue about before. A typical mother, she’d hidden her own dreams and ambitions while encouraging ours. First on her list was going to see AIDA in Verona, and I suggested sending her. No no no, she said. Perhaps I’ll come with you, I suggested. I’ll book the tickets, she said.

Favourite memories of her include: coming home from school and talking endlessly to her in the kitchen, being on the back of her motorbike en route to violin lessons (yes, she rode a motorcycle), her at the helm of a yacht in the pacific, determinedly teaching us to read when very young so we wouldn’t suffer from her dyslexia, her in free-fall in the skydiving tunnel and being a natural at it, chasing her around the pillars of Hearst Castle just a few years ago as I tried to get a photogaph of her (which she was laughingly avaoiding), ice-skating with her as she showed off by skating backwards while we struggled to go forwards without falling over, her rapture at hearing Nikki and Crispin were engaged, and her happiness at the wedding, her delight at her god-daughter Andrea’s 3-day wedding to Jed in Fiji. And hearing the delight and pride in her voice when she told me of lectures she’d given which had been well received.

She lived wholeheartedly, energetically, insightfully, interferingly, and always lovingly. She shared all this with many people, but none more so than us brothers, and we’ll be forever thankful to her, and thankful that we had her in our lives.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I would like to say few words about Alixe's professional career whilst she was with us at Hillingdon Hospital.

For those of you who don't know me I am Roger Buchdahl ; a Consultant Paediatrician working mainly at Hillingdon Hospital but I have also worked for many years at the Brompton Hospital. That is where I first met Alixe in the early 1990s when she worked as a psychologist with the Children's Cystic Fibrosis team.

It was at the Brompton that I spotted her talents and to cut a long story short 'poached her'! In 1994 a post was created at Hillingdon Hospital for a children's psychologist ; the first in the hospital. At that time the Dept of Health was anticipating a huge need for psychologists to provide counselling for children whose parents were dying of HIV infection. The epidemic never developed in the way it was anticipated, at least not in the UK. In her dynamic way Alixe set about adapting the post, developing a general psychology service for children. I would like to give you one or two examples:

One of her first initiatives was to recognize the importance of the difficulties that some parents get into when trying to teach their child to feed. She established a young children's multidisciplinary feeding clinic with medical, dietetic and psychological input. The clinic has run for years and does still today.

Alixe was expert at identifying children with autistic spectrum and communication difficulties and I personally found her experience and knowledge in this area very instructive. Together with the speech and language therapists and Chelvi Kukendra ; our Consultant Community Paediatrician ; she provided a fantastic diagnostic and intervention service.

Alixe teamed up with Anne Beavis, a paediatric physiotherapist at the hospital, and between them they developed an interest in a rather unusual condition called reflex sympathetic dystrophy. This condition can present quite out of the blue and cause children to have intractable pain in any part of their body. No one knows its cause. But Alixe and Anne have provided many children with a tremendous amount of support and relief.

On the ward I used to especially look forward to our Friday multidisciplinary meetings with the social worker and nursing team. Alixe had this tendency to suddenly inject the conversion with some completely different explanation for why a child was behaving in the way it was. It would make us sit up. Think again - in a kind of Hugh Laurie - Dr House manner!

The list of Alixe's involvements and achievements is vast and I could spend the rest of the morning talking about it. You should all know that for many years she did it single-handedly. It is a little sad that only at the end of her career - through her own efforts - was the investment made and the service expanded.

I'm going to finish now but one last thing I would like to say: Alixe was adventurer. She took on many challenges. Of that there is no doubt. I know that in her retirement she was keen to drive the cause of renewable energy schemes and, as some of you know, it was through her own personal roof-top photo-electric scheme that she lost her life. Alixe and I talked about these some of these schemes of which you may know I have a very personal interest. But I never thought she would become 'green warrior' if I can put it like that ; not at her age. But that's Alixe. Never under-estimate her. We will all miss her.

Alixe - from Liz Rutherford

I have been asked to say a few words on ‘the essence of Alixe’ on behalf of her very many friends. This is a somewhat daunting task as we will all have our own special memories of Alixe and the part she played in our lives.
But I’m sure we can agree that she was a very special person with qualities and attributes that are already being missed as we struggle to come to terms with her untimely death.
Alixe had a great zest for life and an appetite for new experiences. She was fun to be with, a generous and loyal friend, always willing to ‘have a go’ and to tackle new projects.
Alixe had played tennis at the tennis club in Jersey Lane for well over 30 years and for the last 20 or so had had a regular 4 (Sue Rouse and I were 2 of the 4) on a Tuesday afternoon at 2pm. But Alixe would invariably be surprised when Sue called to pick her up en route to the club. ‘Oh is it Tuesday to-day and is it really 2 o’clock? Just hang on while I find my socks, racquet etc.’ But we all enjoyed our tennis – Alixe could hit the ball extremely hard and accurately, all the more remarkable after the accident in Norfolk which cost her most of the sight in one eye.
Her powerful stroke was also an asset in golf when she could hit the ball a long distance but required a fellow player to watch it as her vision prevented her seeing its flight path.

Lis Loader’s friendship with Alixe goes back 50 years when their parents were near-neighbours, and this led to Lis and Alixe learning to sail together on the Broads and holidaying as youngsters.

Sue remembers the first time she met Alixe, some 37 years ago, when she appeared on the doorstep with a bundle of outgrown Beechwood School uniform, having heard that Sue’s own son was about to start school there- an example of Alixe’s practicality and generosity.
There were the fun times when we and our then-young children were invited to Townsend Drive to spend the afternoon around and in the swimming-pool -heated by Gerry’s solar panels-very unusual over 30 years ago!
And there was the monthly trip with our containers to weigh out the flour, raisins and muesli that Alixe and Gerry had bought in bulk to distribute to like-minded friends.
Alixe loved to entertain and I remember one occasion when a group of us were invited round for a fondue evening. (the theory being that it was much easier for the hostess if you got the guests to cook for themselves) but we were also required to find a bucket or 2 on arrival to catch the rain-drops plopping through the roof of the sitting-room. To her credit this minor inconvenience did nothing to detract from the fun of the evening.
When Alixe took up bridge she was an intuitive, if slightly unorthodox player and to the many of us who saw Alixe regularly for bridge during the winter she will be much missed. (not to mention
her legendary meringues which accompanied end-of-session celebrations.)
Alixe looked great when she was dressed for an occasion and I was flattered to be asked to help her decide which outfits she should take with her to the wedding and special events in Fiji last year. She loved to travel and was equally at home camping under the stars in Egypt as dressing for a wedding in Fiji.

Alixe was always up for a social outing, whether it was a concert, film, party, bridge drive, or dressing up for the Cycle Campaign in the Bank Holiday parade –anything, we joked, to get out of the housework! Domesticity was not Alixe’s strong suit!

There was so much to Alixe, dearly loved by all but an enigma at times, full of surprises that made one question whether one really knew her at all.

St Leonard's

2009-06-30T01:17:00.000-07:00

We buried my mum yesterday, on a beautiful sunny day, underneath a cherry tree, in a wicker coffin that creaked musically as it was carried. The old village church was packed - about 130 friends, family, co-workers came. We then met at Alixe's house, now tidy (quite a suprise and shock for those who had known the house before, since Alixe was not enthusiastic about tidying) and shared our stories about her.

It was a delightful gathering, and by the end was just our family chatting and hanging out under the shade in the garden. It was exactly the sweet family atmosphere I thought I'd lost along with Alixe, and I am so happy it's still here. The calm pleasure of sitting amongst those she loved was something I'd shared with her many times, and here we were again. Bliss.

Letting go of Alixe is not an easy thing to do. She was, is, so big in my life. I have been driving her car since I arrived on the 15th, and until yesterday I was still using the petrol she'd bought. But at last the tank was near empty, and now I am driving on my own petrol. Thank you Alixe, for getting us this far. Now it's up to us.

the last of the imperially great (by Brian Cowden)

2009-06-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

First off, to be writing this is completely surreal. Especially in context for Alixe who wielded such independence and an indomitable soul and was rushing headlong into the future.

I’ve been involved with the Kent family for so long in so many different situations that the exact memory of the first time I met Alixe is shrouded by time and a true sense of the familial. The transcendent sense of family, in that the members are always supposed to be there whenever the needs or wants arise. In this haphazard complacency, details have carelessly been forgotten. I now wish that I’d paid a little closer attention to those details.

Sure, prior to the first time she came to Los Angeles to visit Rolfe over two decades ago, he’d told me stories of his mother.

The first I recall was the tumultuous period when his parents were splitting up. His father had packed-off and left. Alixe gathered her boys and told ‘em: “I’m going back to school to get my degree and am never tidying up this house again.” Man, was I impressed, the woman had her priorities straight. I was more blown away that she kept her word on both accounts. And as red-blooded sons; Philip, Rolfe, and Crispin honored their mother exercising the art of relaxed cleaning. Dust, according to Quentin Crisp, doesn’t get any thicker after three years. To this day, Kent manor is a testament of the natural disorder, proving decay isn’t spawned by the lack of cleaning supplies, vacuuming, and a proper place for linens, dishes, or EMPTY BOXES.

Rolfe and I were living cheap back in the late Eighties and early Nineties. The rented house we called home was a three story monstrosity, the Munster Mansion. Calling it a dump would have been an insult. It was far worse than that. In fact, after the North Ridge Earth Quake in 1994, the Munster Mansion looked no different even though it had shifted on its foundation by a considerable amount. It was really a magical place that was invisible to the authorities and at the same time a hideous abomination to the neighbors. The woman next door threatened to burn it down. We begged to be told in advance so as to get our valuables out.

When Alixe, Philip, and Crispin came over for their first visit, did they stay at the Munster Mansion? Fuck no. Alixe refused to stay in that dump. The Kents booked into a motel and immediately decided it was the perfect time to go traveling in California.

What stands out most in my mind on that trip was Alixe sitting in a window booth at Barney’s Beanery restaurant surrounded by her boys. Crispin on her right. Rolfe next to him. Philip was across the table. She couldn’t have been happier or more proud. Her sons, her boys, it was obvious, were the most important part of her life. What was also apparent was the amount of love and adoration that Philip, Rolfe, and Crispin bestowed on her. They’re the tightest family I’ve ever known. What a gift to have to be able to share and explore with one’s parent.

Here was a family of English eccentrics who laughed together. Joked together. Shared each other’s aspirations. And regardless of how high Philip and Rolfe and Crispin dared to dream and achieve; it was never ever gonna be good enough for Alixe………………………………………………because she wanted only the best of this world for them. On top of that list was to settle down with a proper English lass and avoid those harlots from the colonies. Need I say the Duchess of Windsor by any other name, Wallis Simpson.

Alixe was no ordinary mom, she was the Contessa. One of the last of the imperially great. In her mind, England still ruled the world. Truth being, England had sort of lost its grip, but Alixe had not – just look at her boys.

On another visit when the Kents came to California, Marlene was on a quest to ice skate at every rink in Southern California. The one that was slated during the week when Alixe and her boys were in town was called the Paramount. It was one of the oldest. The pipe organ was something like seventy-six years old and the organist was seventy-five. Needless to say, the place had lots of character.

Rolfe had told me of Alixe’s physical prowess. He said she’d been a tennis instructor, a track and field champion, an expert sailor, rower, could swim like a fish, and who knows what else. It was easy to believe. She was tall, lean, and always moved with ageless elegance.

On the ice at the Paramount, Alixe skated with grace and aplomb. In comparison, I’m one of the lousiest skaters on this planet. Alixe with her perfect form, gracefully came along next to me, saw how I was struggling. I figured by her expression, she was gonna give me some sage pointers. In her wonderful British accent, she carefully chose her words, “You’re bloody awful and shouldn’t be on the ice. It would be better for everyone.” I had crossed the line. From then on, her dagger had a special place in my beating heart.

I came to appreciate Alixe and understand a little better the special qualities of the Kents during Nichi and Crispin’s wedding. It was the first family affair Marlene and I were able to share in St. Albans on English soil. There were many out of town guests coming. Beds needed to be prepared.

We went over to Alixe’s house to whip it into shape. In the front hallway, there was a box of used electrical plugs that had been snipped off of presumably defunct appliances. I figured they were trash and started to carry the box out to the car to take to the tip. Alixe stopped me because the plugs were perfectly good. She ordered me to put them in the closet. But first she wanted me to inspect the three or four ancient electric heaters stashed in the closet. They hadn’t produced heat for years, but she wanted to make damn sure they were indeed broken. The first thing I noticed: the plugs had been clipped off of each one. I pointed this out to Alixe.

She replied calmly, “Right.”

Me: “Okay, what?”

She said, “There must be a reason why the plugs were removed.”

Me: “So, you want me to go ahead and throw them out?”

“No. If you don’t have time to check them, then please, put them back in the closet along with the box of plugs. After you do that, I want you to help me clean out the garage.”

After I stuffed the busted heaters and useless plugs into the closet, I followed Alixe out to the garage. She raised the garage door revealing it to be stacked from floor to ceiling with what appeared to be absolute trash. She was adamant to get the garage in shape for the wedding.

I immediately grasped what needed to be done, and dove in. I pulled out two half-rotten empty large plastic bags that resembled burlap sacks. These where big sacks that could hold sixty pounds of gravel or sand. I started to transfer them to the back of the car when Alixe stopped me. She told me to put them back because Crispin might need them for one of his construction projects. I was baffled, but obeyed.

Next I pulled out a couple of half-filled rusty paint cans. The labels had long rotted off. I was sure I could toss these. Alixe stopped me again and said that Philip should inspect them. She was sure the paint in them had been used inside her house. Yes, she was sure. She just couldn’t remember which room went with which can. Again, I obeyed.

Next, I picked up a square piece of plywood that was painted black and was approximately eighteen inches by eighteen inches. The front was totally messed up. On the backside was an attached electric motor that appeared to have rotated a turntable that had long ago disappeared. Of course, the plug had been clipped off. I held it up; surely this piece of crap had a one way ticket to the tip. She shook her head and said that it was something Rolfe had made when he was a kid and that he should have a look at it before it gets tossed.

Alixe pointed to a trash receptacle filled with empty aluminum cans. She said I could put those in the back of the car. I did.

“What next?” I asked.

She closed the garage door and said that I should help her prepare a bedroom upstairs for Hope who was arriving from Germany.

We went upstairs. There were two bedrooms separated by a wall. One was empty. The other had a bed, furniture, stack of clothes, and a few boxes in it. She instructed me to move all the stuff from one room to the other.

I did and when finished I asked where was the bed to go in the emptied out room? She looked at me like I was nuts. She said there was no extra bed. The other room simply made a better bedroom for Hope. For the life of me, I couldn’t tell the difference between either. I realized at that moment, Alixe had a master plan for which I and the rest of the world were merely drones to carry this out. I was now firmly in the grasp of the Contessa for which there is no escape.

There are many more stories. Many shared experiences from lively dinners, to ratty motels in Bakersfield, to sailing in the Blackwater Estuary and the deep blue ocean of the South Pacific. There’s been much laughter along the way. And on more than one occasion stern looks to put me in my place. Like after the wedding reception for Crispin and Nichi when I tried to get her to give me the bird’s wing she’d been wearing as a hat so I could wear it too.

What never was missing with Alixe was her pride of being English and who she was. What was never missing was her drive and determination. The fact that she was retiring in a couple of weeks and planning to go back to university for her doctorate pretty much says it all. She was ageless. She was also complex. You have to look through the catalog of photos of her, because one expression could never define who she was. To appreciate her was to know as many of her sides as possible.

Above all else, the family she was the matriarch of moved as a single unit and yet was comprised of four distinct and totally independent personalities. All three, Philip, Rolfe, and Crispin share features passed along from their mother. Through them, she’s still with us.

Her drive was admirable and at the same time would make you crazy. He self-confidence was based on wisdom more so than ego.

Without a doubt, she occupied rarified air.

The selfish tragedy for all of us: Alixe departed way to soon.

Brian

Orthello anyone? ( by Leah Brennan)

2009-06-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

Alixe and I first met seven years ago when she discovered that I was working on my own in her area and had not been linked in with any other psychologists. So Alixe being Alixe made it her job to make sure that I was supported, taking it completely on herself to do this. From then on we formed not only a professional relationship but a friendship too. To me she was not only a supervisor and manager but also a mentor. We have had some really funny times and conversations and what endeared her to me the most was that she had such a gentle nature yet when she needed to, she got what she wanted... what she felt was right.

One fond memory will always be Orthello. For anyone who has worked with her as a colleague or trainee - you will certaintly be famliar with this board game as it was her favourite. Always a tried and tested method to develop rapport with a teenage client and she made sure..several times over, that I knew the rules ...but i still dont quite get it! Her coffee bags in the morning, her organised (?) yet chaotic desk, that "look" when she peered over her glasses at you with a twinkle in her eye and that infectious laugh that she never held back, are all things that will stay with me forever.

As I sit now in her office, I know she is still there and although that is very difficult at times it is also very comforting to know she is so close. She told me before she left that I needed to put my own stamp on it, so I will, but Orthello will always remain.

organising Alixe

2009-06-26T15:30:00.001-07:00

The first time I met Alixe was at my interview to be her secretary. I remember she said to me "I basically need someone to organise me". From that moment on if I had a penny for everytime I said "has anyone seen Alixe?" I would be a millionaire. I could never keep up with her energy and passion for wanting to help and be there for anyone that needed support or advice whether they were patients or staff.

She always took so much pride in her work, she would introduce me to clients at the end of their sessions, I remember one client who couldn't walk properly and after just two sessions her walking had improved so much, I was amazed. When I asked her how she did that? She would just give me her mischievous look and wouldn't let me in on the secret.

I remember working on lecture material with her for her teaching, she would find the relevant photos in some kind of literature and my input was to find that photo on the internet and then present it all as a presentation. She would always explain to me exactly how and why everything was appropriate for that lecture and then, of course, we would end up a few coffee's later with her telling me all about her travels through out her life, she was always amazed when I mentioned that I have never had a passport, she would look at me in amazement and always would encourage me to experience the world.

Alixe was a terrific boss and a good friend who had helped me so much. She was always there for me and she has had an enormous effect on my life and I will miss her so much. But I take comfort from how much she had achieved in her life and how many peoples life she had touched and impacted on.

Thank you Alixe

Love Verona

End of School

2009-06-26T02:44:00.000-07:00

A sweet picture of Liz Loader, a life long friend of Alixe, and Alixe herself when they were about 19. (Thank you to Liz Loader for the pic).

humour and kindness

2009-06-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

To the family of Alixe Kent

I wish to pass my condolences and those of my son to you all.

Alixe was my sons psychologist for the past six plus years and was probably the only professional involved in his case for whom he had respect. His Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD, along with a high intellect have armed him with the opinion that pretty much everybody but himself is an absolute idiot - but not Alixe. He has always had a high opinion of her abilities and has had an unusually emotional reaction to her passing.

I will always thank your mother humour and kindnessfor giving me the ability to parent my son with both understanding and strength and will never forget her humour and kindness.

yours

Sue and Harrison Claxton

Avoiding the camera

2009-06-22T07:50:00.001-07:00

As she cooks I try to get a photo of her, so she ducks and moves, and laughs as she frustrates my efforts.

Machu Picchu

2009-06-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hello

I am a psychologist from Hillingdon. I was devastated to hear about Alixe's death. I am so sorry. My heartfelt condolences to her family and friends.

I often went to Alixe for support and supervision and always found her to be helpful and so encouraging. However, unfortunately (or fortunately!), our discussions would often wander off onto topics unrelated to psychology. Popular topics included: the best adapted recipes for gluten sufferers; a lively debate on "rice milk or soya milk - what's best for tea/coffee?"; what's the best route to Machu Picchu?; and, best of all, what's the best way to get fit for a trek at high altitude?

I learned a lot from Alixe and it wasn't all about psychology! She was a supportive and fun person to know. She will certainly be missed and we were fortunate to know her at Hillingdon.

With condolences and warmest wishes, Sharon Kalsy

ski partner

2009-06-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

Some years ago Alixe and Crispin came to Austria and we went on a

typical Austrian ski vacation, and it was fantastic! Crispin's

girlfriend of the time wouldn't go near the slopes, my boyfriend of

the times was working - as a ski instructor - all day, while Crispin

wanted to learn to snowboard with an instructor.... so I was worried

how it was all going to work out... what would we two do all day?!!

It was perfect! Alixe, being more cautious (and very patient) made the

perfect ski partner for someone over 30 who had just (!) started to

learn to ski!!! We had so much fun, and she was so good for me,

because she never insisted that I go faster!! Not that I didn't fall

down! I had some spectacular falls but her calmly calling out, "oh,

are you all right?" without making me feel a fool or sounding worried,

worked wonders. We even went down some of the "black level" slopes at

the top - just very slowly! And during it all I had some great

conversations with her out on the mountain.

In the evenings back in the apartment that we had rented we ate and

played cards and talked, Alixe right there in the middle, in her

lively way.

Until I read her age in another of the blog posts, I had absolutely

forgot just how old Alixe was. I mean, I know all the sons, but she

just couldn't have been that old! My own father recently died at the

same age, but there was a world of difference. My father was 72, Alixe

could not possibly have been that old! And really, she wasn't. Her

spirit was much younger, which makes her untimely passing so much of a

shock.

I am really glad that Crispin, Philip and Rolfe are able to be

together. My heart goes out to you guys. There is no way to make good

the loss of someone like your Mum.

Hope

A recent memory of Alixe, from Jane Bradshaw

2009-06-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, Alixe phoned me.

'Would you like to join me for a weekend in Norfolk? We have a house there which is usually let but it's empty at the moment. I'm asking Valerie, too.'

Of course, I was delighted and times were agreed. It was only just before we rang off that she added as an after thought, 'There's no furniture. Can you bring a sleeping bag - Oh, and an inflatable mattress if you have one.' I hadn't realised that was what she'd meant by 'empty'.

I admit, I was surprised but then curiosity took over. Valerie and I arrived, she with her car full of uninflated inflatable mattress and bedding, I with just a sleeping bag - and pillow. Alixe was right. There was no furniture at all. Luckily for me there was a mattress in one bedroom so I was given that. Valerie got down to puffing up her mattress and Alixe and I put our things away on the floor and began thinking about food.

The kitchen was beautifully fitted out and we produced an excellent meal. Alixe magiced up a card table and 3 garden chairs which were set up in the sitting room. What else could we possibly need? However, there was more. After our dinner, she revealed a dart board - with darts - and we had several exciting games once we managed to get the darts to stick in the board and had worked out the rules, our rules. Valerie won hands down.

And so our weekend began. I slept like a top helped by the wine and next morning managed to work the shower. Then we set off to explore Norfolk. Goaded by Alixe and my my pride, I followed her, climbing right up to the very top of a high church tower for a bird's eye view of the county. Valerie remained grounded. We walked, explored the Broads, shopped for bargains and returned happily to our comfortable minimalistic home. Alixe proved herself the best cook - I knew that already - and we had wonderful food, sitting at the card table on garden chairs. We were so comfortable we sat there all evening talking the night away over glasses of wine.

We had plenty of time to be out and about; the house not being cluttered up with furniture there was no dusting and fussing needed. I felt as if we were camping but with out the creepy crawlies, damp and cold. We could relax! Valerie had plenty of exercise, not only walking but also aerobics - practised once or twice each night when her mattress flattened. It must have done her good. It certainly did me good. The best weekend away I've had and only Alixe could have thought of it and made it such fun.

Although my relationship...

2009-06-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

Although my relationship with Alixe was much more brief and limited than those closest to her, I’ve had a lot of “indirect” contact with her through working for Rolfe. I have often heard stories in passing of her strength, gumption, and spunk. The stories about Alixe continued to be told in the present tense, as opposed to the more common "my mother used to" kind.

As an outside observer, I think anyone could tell what kind of person she was because of how much she means to all of her sons. I have never encountered a family that was so close and so wanting to be involved in each others lives, genuinely. I think she raised her sons to be a strong support for each other, as well as merry-hearted, kind-spirited, and full of fire for life’s adventures. It was great to meet a woman who still seemed to face life fearlessly, and be driven by her desire to make a difference in the lives of the people she encountered at her job, as well as in her home.

I used to think life was a journey you begin alone and end alone, because no one else can really know your experiences. But as I meet more and more people, and life continues to be full of changes, it seems like our lives are really made up of parts of those incredible people who change and inspire us along the way. I’m grateful I had the pleasure of meeting someone so full of life and so full of love for her family and I know she will be dearly remembered…

-M.M.

Alixe's pursuits

2009-06-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

She was always such an active person, I suppose she was often at risk due to her pursuits. She was often cycling, playing tennis, sailing, gardening, golfing. Never over cautious, and always eager to be vigorously doing something.

Alixe had various jobs. At different times she was:
a nurse (RSN), a radiographer, life-saving instructor (swimming), skiing instructor, tennis coach, and of course a clinical psychologist at Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital and later and most enduringly with the wonderful psychology team at Hillingdon. And I may have missed some!

Oh, she had a pilot's license too.

Brian's snapshot - S Pacific

2009-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

The family went sailing in the South Pacific in 2004. Here's the dashing Captain Jacques bestowing flowers on the delighted women, starting with Alixe.

Energy interrupted

2009-06-17T04:12:00.000-07:00

It's been just a couple of days since Alixe left us, and amongst all the sadness and tears we are still remembering what an extraordinary and energetic life she led. It almost seems too much to squeeze into the 72 years she had. And when she went she was still fiercely intellectually engaged, still traveling and exploring, ever curious.

She was planning to enter retirement (she still hadn't got round to retiring) by doing a doctorate in psychology by researching links between gluten and various psychological abnormalities. Yes, this was how she was going to retire!

In the last year she went to Fiji for Andrea's wedding to Ged, and visited me in Los Angeles. She went shopping for clothes with Meredith in LA who recalls, "she just mentioned she'd had some "wild times" in school involving booze and sneaking out. When asked if she'd ever told [Rolfe] that she said "oh, no.""
Somehow I'm not terribly suprised. She always had a mischievous side.

This black & white picture is from a trip to Catalina Island. Always reluctant to have her picture took she is reaching out to interfere with the camera. It was always a game with her, trying to dodge the lens, but I snapped away anyway.
Rolfe Kent